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Old 03-18-2013, 07:47 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

In our dynamic, we figured out that reconnect time was critical. So, for example, if we have a poly date, when its over we have a cuddle time for the two of us alone. Sometimes we talk-sometimes we just cuddle. But it helps remind each of us that the time with others hasn't alleviated our bond.

We also agreed that once a week we need a "no kids or other partners conversation" date. Not that those people don't matter-but that date is for romancing each other without discussing kids or other lovers.

The romancing is HUGE. NRE can sweep people away thinking about the new partners. So make sure that you are "woo-ing" her too.

I also suggest identifying your personal love languages (theres a book "the 5 love languages"). It really can simplify so much!

For example, my primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. So if my partner lavishes me with gifts or compliments, that really doesn't reassure me of his love as quickly, easily or completely as if he filled my gas tank and scheduled a time for us to go for a walk together.

For me, taking a walk with me is equal to several dozens of flowers delivered over the course of a week!

On the otherhand, Maca's love language is physical touch. Without hugs, hand holding, sex, cuddling etc-I could waste hours trying to tell him how much I love him. But-if I just make a point of running my hand through his hair when I pass by him, he's in heaven filled with confidence of my love.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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