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Old 01-08-2010, 02:18 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

Originally Posted by surfer View Post

YGirl, it's interesting that you and your husband don't see having other intimate/romantic relationships besides your own as changing your marriage. I can see how that could be true, not sure it's true in my case but not sure exactly why. Need to think more about that!
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it that way. I was thinking about what I said and the way I said it as I was getting ready for bed last night, but I was too tired to log back on the computer and edit my previous post.

Of course it "changes" our marriage - or I should say, our relationship. People are always in a constant state of change, and so are relationships. I meant that it doesn't need to affect us for the reasons we got married. The reasons we got married were so that he could be my legal next-of-kin in case something happens. We did not get married so much because of our relationship as because of the pragmatic benefits. Yes, we love each other, but that would be so whether we have/had the piece of paper or not. I think of the marriage as non-synonymous with the relationship - I was in a marriage of convenience when I was in my 20's so the guy could get a green-card, and I tend to think of it more as a business arrangement with society.

If that makes more sense?
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