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Old 03-18-2013, 01:32 PM
Matt Matt is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 89

Once she figures it out, I may consider giving more than partial effort in therapy. If she can't answer why she cares, I don't agree with giving my all. The imbalance is apparent. I bet she can tell why she cares about her girlfriend without missing a breath. I can tell her why she was important to me and why I cared without having to take days to think about it or responding with, "I don't know." I have cared enough for both us lately, and I'm tired of it. I tried to tell her my fears, concerns, and she didn't listen. Well, that's cool. No one can tell me it's love when somebody becomes immune to you hurting. If it falls apart, at least I'll know I did my best to save it. I can't be the only one who cares or who is willing to try.

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
She may not know the answer.
In the big picture, this is all pretty sudden.

You are right about needing to not bend on topics that are hard limits for you.

In our situation, we both did that. We also both would avoid saying what we really needed-in an effort not to hurt each other.

The consequences were severe.

Things were so bleak and hopeless-even the psychologist advised bailing.

Ironic-when we both got brutal honest about sticking up for our needs-the problems were resolvable and we worked it out.

But no one could have predicted that.
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