She may not know the answer.
In the big picture, this is all pretty sudden.
You are right about needing to not bend on topics that are hard limits for you.
In our situation, we both did that. We also both would avoid saying what we really needed-in an effort not to hurt each other.
The consequences were severe.
Things were so bleak and hopeless-even the psychologist advised bailing.
Ironic-when we both got brutal honest about sticking up for our needs-the problems were resolvable and we worked it out.
But no one could have predicted that.
"Love As Thou Wilt"