Originally Posted by FullofLove1052
And you want to know what Matt really thinks of Si now? Expendable and unneeded like tonsils or the gallbladder. They serve their purpose, and then you get rid of them if needed or if the time comes. After that, you can still live without them.
This ^^^ is what I'm up against. There's no mistaking that or no amount of counseling that can even begin to fix that. Add that to two people who aren't even willing to seek counseling together, a girlfriend who isn't allowed in your home, years worth of history, a dead friendship, strained relationships, two perceptions of what family is, and it's easy to see how I'm close to blowing a fuse.
May I beg to differ?
Our start was different.
But-15 yrs together, 14 married.
There were several years dh would not have cared if bf died.
But-he is a third parent to our kids (21, 13, 5).
We all live together. But there was a time in the middle when we could not because Maca felt much how matt describes his current feelings.
However-being given the space to have no contact with GG, being able to identify set date times alone with me, family times without GG, assurance that he is free to request GG leave him fully alone at any time without explanation;
He has been able to stop being emotionally flooded. Now they have a companionable friendship.
Matt needs to have Si leave him alone.
His posts make it clear he is emotionally flooded.
It may take a month or ten years to stop being flooded.
But-when he isn't flooded he will be more able to identify what is or is not reasonable going forward.
Today is not tomorrow.
Much like asking a woman during delivery if she wants to have another baby. She's flooded. The answer is almost always a violent outburst of "hell no!".
But a few weeks later-that can change.