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Old 03-17-2013, 07:11 PM
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hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 394
Default On Not Joining

I know I'm posting this too soon after the previous post - really, just moments have passed! - but I'm processing the conference really quickly and need to work some of it out in text.

Let me say, again, that I am struggling to make sense of what I experienced last night and this morning. Nothing I said in the last post and nothing I say in this post is the last word.

In the last post, I tried to pick out a few elements of what I still think is a tangled mess of influences that led me to experience stress verging on panic at the conference. There were a lot of other things going on, really, and my own reactions to overt hedonism and to condescension from dogmatists were only two of them.

But I also have managed to make a separation in my mind that might be of real, practical use to me.

This one is really very obvious, now that I see it. In fact, it could be published in Duh!, that great journal of things one really ought to have known already.

Ready?

Here it is: My own openness to having multiple intimate relationships is not the same thing as, nor is it conditioned upon, identifying myself as "polyamorous" or as a member of the poly "community."

I don't have to join! I don't have to go to meetups or to conference or rallies! I don't have to speak for "the poly community" nor do I have to be spoken for by it!

What a relief!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch date tomorrow . . .

Last edited by hyperskeptic; 03-18-2013 at 02:33 AM.
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