On Not Joining
I know I'm posting this too soon after the previous post - really, just moments have passed! - but I'm processing the conference really quickly and need to work some of it out in text.
Let me say, again, that I am struggling to make sense of what I experienced last night and this morning. Nothing I said in the last post and nothing I say in this post is the last word.
In the last post, I tried to pick out a few elements of what I still think is a tangled mess of influences that led me to experience stress verging on panic at the conference. There were a lot of other things going on, really, and my own reactions to overt hedonism and to condescension from dogmatists were only two of them.
But I also have managed to make a separation in my mind that might be of real, practical use to me.
This one is really very obvious, now that I see it. In fact, it could be published in Duh!, that great journal of things one really ought to have known already.
Here it is: My own openness to having multiple intimate relationships is not the same thing as, nor is it conditioned upon, identifying myself as "polyamorous" or as a member of the poly "community."
I don't have to join! I don't have to go to meetups or to conference or rallies! I don't have to speak for "the poly community" nor do I have to be spoken for by it!
What a relief!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch date tomorrow . . .
Last edited by hyperskeptic; 03-18-2013 at 02:33 AM.