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Old 03-17-2013, 04:42 PM
hersforever hersforever is offline
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 2

I'll try not to make a novel of this, but the answers to your questions:

Originally Posted by dingedheart
Whats a wife led marriage ?
The short version is, I submit to my wife. Not directly in a BDSM context although there is that too, occasionally. Mostly I ask her to expect more of me/my attention/my time and in return I get her indulgence in many of my fetishes that are not scene-specific such as orgasm denial and chastity play.

Originally Posted by dingedheart
Did she encourage you to read prior to the change in relationship dynamic or after ?
She encouraged me to join this forum/read after the change, mostly because she joined after the change. The change was very organic, although it's taken several years to get to this point, and once we decided to go for it she has been trying to learn as much as she can and encouraged both S and I to do the same.

Originally Posted by BoringGuy
Dinged heart wants you to know that this could have a major impact on the children, especially your girlfriend's children as she is the one who is going through an "awakening".
We don't underestimate the impact this will have on all of our children. For now, they don't know or don't need to know anything about our relationship. Most of the physical side of things happens when S's ex husband has the children, although my wife is much more free to see S when her children are there because they know her as S's friend and have for a long time. In time we will probably let them in on things, a little at a time, to show them that not every relationship is as they are told it "should" be - we very much want all of our children to be comfortable with "alternative" lifestyles -- whatever their particular choices may be. But with S being recently divorced, the fewer shocks at once we put her children through the better.

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
How long has your girlfriend been your wife's girlfriend prior to becoming a shared girlfriend?
The story of our relationship with S is a long one. The abbreviated version of it is this: Three years ago (and fairly close to exactly three years ago, come to think of it), my wife and S found the joy and intimacy of each other in a casino hotel room. My wife was nervous to share this with me but given the nature of our WLM and my slowly growing openness to sexuality of all kinds I was happy for her. She still brought some of that NRE back to me and I quite enjoyed it. Their relationship blossomed over several months time and, eventually, even included me. I attempted to keep my involvement purely physical with S, but emotions formed all the same (in part because of her marriage being what it was). She and I didn't pursue individual relationships however -- we were very much a Vee.

That summer, due to numerous issues piling on top of each other all three of us had a particularly rough night and it ended very negatively, with long-lasting consequences including my wife and S stopping their relationship entirely, S certain that I hated her and nearly a year before I realized that I needed help, as well as my wife and I needed help communicating. As we rebuilt our relationship (sans-WLM for a while), things got better.

Jump forward to last Halloween -- my wife went to a party, knowing that S would be there, determined to make S notice her (my wife rarely dresses for Halloween, she went last year as a damn hot Snow White!) and notice she did! The started talking, then talked a lot, and finally opened up to each other that their feelings hadn't faded over nearly 3 years. So they decided to re-establish their relationship.

In between then and now, S got divorced and my wife wanted to be sure I was okay with the Vee relationship and that S and I could be friends at the least. Friends we were until about 3 weeks ago, when S decided that she wanted me to be involved at least physically, and then around a week and a half ago (it seems like so much has happened in that time!) we decided to give S and I a chance to be lovers emotionally as well.

To sum up: My wife and S were girlfriends for about 3 years before S became my girlfriend. But if you don't consider the break in the middle, it has been about 5 months.

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
In your new dynamic are you and the girlfriend allowed/encouraged to develop your own relationship/have sex independent of your wife?
Yes. S and I are very much encouraged to have a relationship independent of my wife, as I also encouraged the two of them to build a relationship. Our first date was exciting and strange (it had been nearly 12 years since my last first date!) but easy all the same and the emotions formed three years ago come back very easily to us both.

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
How old are the kids?
My wife's and mine are 10(m), 6(f) and 3(f) while S's are 8(m) and 4(f).

Originally Posted by opalescent
I'm curious - does S want to be in a female led relationship with your wife? Is your wife already her Domme? Is a female led relationship with a same sex couple different from a D/s dynamic in a same sex couple?
So far as I understand it, the relationship between the two of them is very much of equals. There is no overt D/s dynamic between the two of them when they are alone together. So I'm afraid I can't answer with direct experience how the D/s dynamic applies differently to a same-sex couple than to a hetero couple. Bringing S in to the FLR dynamic is still very much being worked out, but it is a relationship that I originally asked my wife for and I asked to bring S into that aspect as well. I imagine myself in service to them both, although given past experience and what I know about her S seems to be a switch, which means that my wife or I may top S from time to time.

How this all works out remains to be seen, but it is incredibly exciting and energizing right now!
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