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Old 03-17-2013, 01:13 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 13,985

"'Why poly?' -- What would you answer?"
As far as fun, smart-alecky answers ago, there's always ... "Why not?"

Re (from hyperskeptic, Post #11):
"It neatly and succinctly shifts the burden of proof back on the person asking: I don't need to justify being polyamorous nearly as much as they need to justify the normalization of monogamy."

Re (from ThatGirlInGray, Post #12):
"I've been wondering, though, if 'Why not?' opens the door too easily to the endless list of anti-poly sentiment. I can already hear in my head some possible responses like jealousy, lack of commitment and faithfulness, insecurity, damaging to children and families, immoral ..."
True, true.

I guess it might be a sign that the person asking, "Why poly?" is just asking a rhetorical question and really wants to vent (about how much poly offends them). Maybe if I'm in a patient mood I'll endure their venting. If not, then, "Because it works for me," should deflect their venting.

Re (from Cleo, Post #1):
"Because I can."
Good one.

How about, "Because I want to have my Kate and Edith too?" Nobutseriously ...

"Why do I want to live my life this way?"
I can't speak for you of course. I want to live my life in the poly way I do because I want my romantic life to have more freedom than strict monogamy allows. That's my (somewhat awkward) answer, and you're welcome to use it if you so desire.

As it happens, I didn't find myself in a poly situation until I fell in love with someone who was already married. Research and long heart-to-hearts (e.g. between her and her husband) followed. We "became" poly. So the longer answer is, I'm poly because I found myself in a poly situation. But on a deeper level, it's really the greater level of freedom poly offers that seals the deal (for me).

Re (from JaneQSmythe, Post #8):
"Because love is a rare enough thing in this world that I don't think we should let *any* of it slip away without consideration."
Ooh, good one.

Re (from ladyslipper, Post #13):
"I prefer autonomy-based relationship rather than possessive-style relationships."
I agree that people shouldn't own one another (regardless of if they're poly).

"And to the jealousy argument, which is usually the pinnacle for monogamists, I like to remind people that jealousy is just another emotion to be managed, like anger. We don't tell people not to drive because they might get angry at the other drivers, we tell them to manage their anger better."
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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