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Old 03-15-2013, 07:58 PM
Squashking Squashking is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 43
Default Help to better support my spouse

Newbie to this forum and a newbie to the poly world . I am a male and part of a quad. I have been married for almost 20 years now... we are very close, very happy. A year ago my wife and I got into full swapping with another couple whom we have been very close friends with for many years. Until then both couples were completely monogamous and no one had any experience doing this in the past. Needless to say we were all pretty shocked, scared, and excited when it happened. Imagine 4 newbies trying to figure out this stuff at the same time with raging NRE! Since then lots of amazing highs and some horrible lows. With every challenge the relationship actually grew much deeper. In fact only a month ago we learned what polyamory actually was, here I thought we were all screwed up. I love this forum... it has taught me a great deal but most importantly to embrace this lifestyle and not hide from it.

I have personally come a long way and feel that I have beaten my own issues of jealousy, fear and insecurities. Pretty much nothing bothers me any longer at least so far...

My wife on the other hand is having a tough time. There is no question that she fully enjoys the benefits of that this special relationship provides, she is the first one to jump into bed :-). For the most part its has enhanced our marriage due to simple over-communication. But sometimes she worries that she will lose me or we will grow apart, which leads to other insecurities. These feelings snowball at times. I am working really hard to reassure her but that doesn't seem to be enough. She knows she is not trapped into this. Any suggestions on how best to help her? Perhaps time? Perhaps we slow things down?

Thanks in advance for your help.
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