After reading this entire thread, it makes me angry that she has treated you so poorly. She seems totally dismissive of YOUR wants and needs, and I'm not sure how you've tolerated it so long, except to say that love is a strange beast. I'm not one to talk, as many here would probably say I've been a doormat for too long in my relationship. But I think it underscores the fact that YOU know best what YOU want out of a relationship.
When she reversed her decision for you to father the next child, I would have totally blew a gasket and tossed her to the curb, if I hadn't already, but again, I'm not you, and I'm not the one with the investment in the relationship.
I hope being on this forum has at least offered you a different perspective on things, and I hope at a minimum you will hold her accountable for her dishonesty and total lack of regard for your wants and needs.
I do wish you well.