Originally Posted by westVan
My relationship has ended...
I contacted them both and asked that we discuss the rules and ways that they can work for everyone so that the needs of all involved are taken into consideration.
At that point the relationship was ended by the wife and all contact in the future is out of the question.
Makes me very sad but that is the way it is.
but I thank you for your thoughtful advise.
I'm sorry about the hurt you must be experiencing. But I think the way this went down reinforces the notion that this wasn't a fair or healthy relationship, and so I can't help but think it was for the best. In what sort of relationship... mono, poly, sexual, friendly, or even business... do you cut off all contact with someone because they ask if they can discuss something?
Not normal, not cool, not some regular feature of poly by any means, and most likely indicative of some deep, unexamined dysfunction on her part, if not on both of their parts.
Best of luck from here on out.