The needs, wants, and feelings of a secondary are ALWAYS important. You are a human being and should be considered as a person who matters!
O. M. G. What you've been putting up with is indeed bullshit... and quite disrespectful of you as a person. Requiring thank you notes? Just how are you expressing genuine appreciation to your metamour if it is a requirement? What self-centered nonsense!
Time to renegotiate! First, determine what your personal boundaries are and hold your partner accountable to them. If he isn't able to or willing to respect your boundaries, walk. It isn't all about what he and his wife want. Yes, you can set rules or boundaries, too!
Sheesh, honey - why'd you wait so long to ask?
Last edited by nycindie; 03-15-2013 at 04:34 AM.