I am having a hard time following the discussion/argument about children. It is my impression, from reading here, that there has been a fair amount of discussion on the effect of poly relationships on children.
I recall a discussion where the "secondary" partner was talking about the time constraints to pursue the relationship due to concerns about introducing people into her children's lives before they were "long term" relationships and that this seemed to be a common theme - that "dating partners" were not introduced to the kids until things were firmly established, because it wasn't fair to them to allow people to become important to them and then have them vanish from their lives. (I think that LovingRadiance has talked about this on a number of occasions?)
(I wouldn't have followed these threads very closely as it doesn't pertain to our kid-less situation - although I can liken it to the fact that our friend's kids tend to get attached to MrS if he has been visiting/babysitting frequently and ask after him if they haven't seen them in a while and that my nephews are fascinated by Dude and inquire if he is going to be there at family functions. But I would liken this to extended family that you only see on limited occasions, even if you really like them you aren't crushed that you only get together a few times a year.)
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe