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Old 03-15-2013, 02:34 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 951
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I find the discussion of the word "metamour" interesting. I, personally, like it but think it's really only useful short-hand for discussions with other poly-aware people - for the general population I would use the long hand, "my husband's girlfriend" for instance.

We don't tend to use the term to describe the relationship between MrS and Dude because their OTHER relationships to each other - best friends, roommates - are actually more important and intimate than is implied, to me, by the concept. I would be more likely to apply it to someone to which I had NO other relationship - say someone that Dude was seriously dating whom I had yet to meet. She would be peripheral to my life but have an effect, through him, on it.

(An aside, I find it interesting to note that different languages have both more and less specific terms to define certain relationships depending on the culture. For instance "sister-in-law" could mean my husband's sister or my brother's wife. Some languages have different words for "paternal" vs. "maternal" aunt and whether they are the blood relative or not - whereas in English my mother's sister and my father's brother's wife are both my "aunt")

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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