Originally Posted by Matt
What would have happened if your spouse had not been accepting or on board with that idea? Would you have left, or would you have let them leave in order to pursuit your happiness?
I'll give you my answer to this, even though it sounds like it might be a rhetorical question. I considered this very thing before I brought up the topic with my Spouse after being together for... 9 years? My math isn't working right now.
First of all, MONOGAMY was never something that was a big deal to me, and marriage wasn't that big a deal to my Spouse (we did that so we ccould have the legal-next-of-kin established because I don't have any living relatives whom I trust to make decisions on my behalf should the need present itself, etc. So I didn't see it as some huge OMGBBQ-I-just-realized-i'm-poly-whoop-dee-doo-we-need-to-discuss-our-relationship event. But, I knew there were people from the past that I hadn't seen for years that might come back into my life, so I told Spouse about this, and they said "so, you want to try an open relationship?" If they had said "No, I don't want any part of that" I would have said "OK" and that would have been it. I am thankful that I have ONE good relationship, never mind two. Had Spouse responded with "no", then that would have established "real" monogamy, i guess. It isn't NECESSARY to "practice" more than one relationship just because you can have a feeling for more than one person.
By the way, you do know what "metamour" means, right? It sounds like you might have it confused. It sounds like you think it means "mutual partner", like the "third" person in a triad where all are involved with each other. Is that what you think it means, or not?