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Old 01-08-2010, 01:53 AM
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crisare crisare is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 172

I have been asked by a few to come explain my statement so here it is.

Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
Well, at this point, all I have is your interpretation. I've not been able to find anything that suggests that people who value love when approaching sex are being viewed as sex negative. I would love to see some specific quotes from which you derived this.
This is exactly the kind of response that is making me want to leave. Someone says they feel that X is happening and instead of saying "hey lets figure this out" the immediate response (and Ceioli, I see this often from you) is: That's YOUR interpretation. Provide me with proof of what you think is happening.

That's not conducive to understanding. It's a challenge. It's "prove to me that you deserve to feel the way you feel".

But you want some examples? Here:

From this post:
From discussions where it is insisted that relationships where sex is prevalent cannot be considered polyamorous (sexless is fine and dandy)
No one ever said that relationships where sex is prevalent cannot be considered polyamorous. That's a complete distortion of anything anyone has said.

And this:
A prejudicial view of polyamory which houses a prejudiced view of sex. Sex = negative unless it be purified by the cleansing waters of love. Because love (what is love again? Someone bring me a definition ) is the reason having sex would not be some dirty rank thing. Sex-negative.
No one has said sex without love is "dirty" or "rank" .. just that it's not poly.

Those are the two quotes I can find most quickly. But there is plenty of more in all of those threads where those of us who think that poly should involve more than *just* sex are accused of finding *just* sex to be "dirty" "rank" "disgusting" etc... and therefore being sex negative. And no matter how many times we say that we don't have a problem with casual sex or that we don't have a problem with swinging or that we don't have a problem with fuckbuddies ... we're being accused of being "sex negative" because we don't see those things as poly.

The accusation of being "sex negative" simply because one sees a difference between casual sex and committed sex is offensive and hurtful. And quite honestly I don't need the heartache of dealing with people who throw out accusations of bias or prejudice or bigotry just because someone disagrees with them.

Last edited by crisare; 01-08-2010 at 02:05 AM.
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