Originally Posted by SNeacail
Something I learned the hard way, is that we tend to do/say the things we want/need from our partner, instead of doing/saying the things they need to feel loved. Where hearing the over-the-top sappy romantic stuff weirds you out (it does me too
), maybe she is desperate to hear sappy sweet nothings from you, because that's what makes her feel loved (or one of the things).
I totally get this. I want to try to make her feel loved in the ways she needs to hear it, but it seems so insincere because these aren't things I would naturally say. I think I'll have to ponder ahead of time some things I can say that will give her what she needs without making me feel like a fraud. Perhaps I'll have to practice in the mirror.
Originally Posted by Anneintherain
Crappy timing is how I
roll, but I am glad it went well! I have trouble understanding when partners want something they aren't getting and chafe at the bits instead of just bringing it up, I'll keep my fingers crossed that I can be that graceful next time somebody brings up the hard (for them at least
stuff, and thank them for their honesty)!
My relationship with her is a lot more "work" than any other in my (admittedly limited) experience, but one thing that makes it so rewarding is that she carries a lot of grace and generosity in her soul. She's found herself in love with someone who does not fit her vision of a partner in some very important ways, and yet she is so committed to making this work even when there are bumps and potholes along the way. And she makes me feel cherished and treasured in a way I've never been before.
I spent the night with her last night, and since our conversation last weekend, everything just feels lighter. I had so much fun with her, we're both so goofy and we laugh so much when we're together. We went out for drinks and a nutritionally naughty dinner (tempura fried bacon! Yowza!
), before returning to the house for sexy times and snuggles. We're coming up on nine months together, which is my second-longest relationship, Fly and I being the longest. Even at times when polyamory is a pain in the ass, I still wake up grateful every day that this is my life.