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Old 03-13-2013, 02:09 PM
tempestuous1 tempestuous1 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 6
Default Thank you for the reply!

Thank you for the reply Kevin. I shared it with the other man "K", and he appreciates your advice and can understand why you say what you say. I am willing to discuss this further and be honest with my husband as I really want this to work. I'm afraid he'll be devastated though, as he's already mentioned that he could understand me wanting to be with a woman as they have attributes that he doesn't possess. However he said if it were a man, he would feel as if our relationship was lacking, or that he wasn't providing me what I needed if I had to search elsewhere for it, and that's not the case in my opinion. Like you suggested, I may need to share readings and literature with him regarding polyamory. He loves me so very much as do I him, and I really don't want to hurt him, but fear I already have by essentially cheating on him with the other man, "K".

Now "K" on the other hand, knows for a fact that his girlfriend of 4 years will not understand, will be jealous, and will not accept him being involved in a poly relationship, and he's hesitant to even share that he has a friend in me, as then he'd have to explain how we met and why he was on Craig's List, etc.

I feel like at this point it's not going to work out, especially if he's not willing to budge, but he doesn't want to give me up, nor do I him. He has however stated that if this is going to cause me too much of an emotional heartache, he understands if I want to back out. I love him. I love my husband. I have a very tough decision to make. Like I said, I never expected this. Who is to say I will even ever find someone whom I connect with like him again? I think if I weren't married, or my husband and I shared similar views, this would be a bit easier, but then there is still "K", and it's my fault for allowing our friendship to become more. I'm so angry with myself, but I can't expect him to disrupt his relationship of 4 years, for love that has to be less than what he has for her. *sighs* I'm so confused.
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