Totally new to this
Hi! My name is Vanessa & I am in my late 20's. Growing up I would fall in like often and quickly. I couldn't understand why I could only have one boyfriend at a time. I knew that you could cheat on a partner but never heard of the word or the community of polyamory. When i discovered more about it recently it seems like it fits me. I like the open, honest aspect and the ability to connect with more then one person romantically at a time.
Here is my story: So I kind of accidentally fell into a polyamourous situation about four months ago. I had just ended my relationship with my ex-boyfriend when I started getting close to one of his friends, Miguel. Miguel has been in a relationship for a very long time with Ashley. When I was with my boyfriend we had talked about threesomes but it had never panned out. I was always secretly attracted to Miguel but never acted on it or made it known to him.
We all started getting to know each other, hanging out twice a week (more me & Miguel alone than me & Ashley). I really started to enjoy this new found friendship & must admit that I was attracted to them both. Imagine my surprise when Miguel suggested a threesome. I had no hint that they were anything but mono up until that point. Apparently while they had talked about it in the past I was the first person they took the plunge with. That night was amazing & we all meshed together so well. It just felt so natural.
Fast forward to today: We have become a Vee I believe with Miguel being the hinge (is that the right term?). I feel myself falling in love with them both deeply. This being uncharted terrority though we have lots to learn. Things aren't quite defined yet though I feel like Miguel's other girlfriend. We go out on dates & such. It is important to me that I develop a emotional connection with both Ashley & Miguel. I wouldn't want to be in this relationship if it was solely physical.
I want to make this relationship as successful as possible. What tips do you wish someone had given you when you had just started out? What is the best way how to broach a discussion of where we go from here? How can I assure Ashley that I care for her deeply & in no way want to harm her relationship with Miguel?
*Note: All names are pseudonyms as I don't think they would want their names or any identifying info out there*
Last edited by AccidentallyInLove; 03-13-2013 at 09:39 AM.
Reason: edited out small possibly identifying detail & adding more background information