Long talks with Darling about living arrangements. Long talks with his wife about the same. Long talks with the kids about their feelings. We came to a compromise. We are going to approach the owner of the house next door and see if we can buy it (a very good possibility). His wife and child can have this house as their "home" and Darling, me and my kids will live in the other and have it essentially our "home". This will allow him to be in close proximity to his child and all of us can live as a poly family with some separation. His wife LOVES this idea. She is happy that their house will essentially become her house. We can easily move between houses for family stuff.
I talked to him about how he really didn't approach all of us and he didn't take in to consideration WHO each person was. He just thought that we could all bend enough to make it happen. I pointed out to him that his wife likes separation. This is who she is. By insisting on having us live with her, it was trying to force her to be someone she wasn't. Same for his daughter. His daughter has grown up in a very quiet home. My kids have not. The two styles are not compatible.
I am also going to step up immediately the next time I see something in the works that I don't think will be in the best interest of all parties. I think I just didn't want to be the "naysayer", especially since he seems to be pulling out of his funk over Chatty.