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Old 03-12-2013, 03:55 PM
ConfusedBryan ConfusedBryan is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 13

If you are willing to work on those and BE HERE in the marriage, is she willing?
Right at this moment, she needs a break. After the affair was found out, I went over the top to try to make up for lost time. All that did was push her away. We talked and we decided that we are realy good friends, and good parents, but this other guy has made an emotional connection with her that she wants to explore, without doing anything rash like divorce and putting the kids through that if thats not the right decision. If bumps in the road are hit, we are trying to keep an open and honest relationship through all of this.

What is "intimacy" there? Sex? Physical intimacy? The heart share of emotional intimacy? Mental intimacy? Soul intimacy?

If you romance her all day as she requests, and you perceive there's "no return on your investment" because she thought you were sharing "emotional intimacy and heart share" and that happened already and you are after "sex and body intimacy" -- maybe there's communication problems to solve?
My intimacy needs "were" mostly physical, and that was never up to the expectations I wanted. Hers was just the opposite, emotional, soul. There are definately communication problems, and we already know that, and are working on that now.

Did you ask for what behaviors she wants you to do/not do? Do you fail to do them or she fails to delineate them or wants you to be a mind reader?

What interpersonal skills do you think you are lacking?
She has told me in the past what she wants, and has hinted around many times also. I am thick-headed and didn't hear those things and take them to heart. My fault which I need to work on. I really don't think I know how to be a good lover. Something I need to work on, which is what I am exploring in this open thing, I guess.
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