Thanks everyone. I think just knowing that I am not alone makes me feel better. I don't want to give the impression that my partner hasn't taken time with me to work through my feelings, after all she is a therapist. I feel like a lot of the time she puts her own feelings about being poly aside to tend to my needs. She even asked before she left if we needed to make some boundaries surrounding sex before she left but I said no. I just feel like I'd rather almost get that over with (that she has sex with someone else) just to help relieve the anticipation of it!
We talked a lot before she left, she wrote me a long love letter, bought me a bear to cuddle with and so on. She very much cares and loves me, otherwise I wouldn't be marrying her. I can't imagine ever finding anyone like her, I just need to find differentiation about her seeing someone else and her being with me.
I know I need to learn how to distract from this, I think I feel jealous.... and that's a horrible feeling. Anyways-- I appreciate all the support. And believe me, we will be doing a lot of processing when she comes home