I spent roughly six or seven days in complete misery, obsessed with every unhealthy thought possible. Occasionally, a light would shine though that left me feeling euphoric and giddy no matter what. I'm now finally sort of grounded.
No new 'happenings' have taken place other than an awkward reuonion between E and L, basically confirming what I suspected, that they aren't poly in the sense we are. How this plays out remains to be seen, but the important thing is this, or are these:
1. Opening your relationship to poly may mimic the feelings of being cheated on.
2. Knowing your partner is attracted to someone else enough to act upon it can throw you for a loop.
3. You may think you're okay with whatever happens. You may be surprised at what you find upsetting.
4. The feelings WILL PASS, WILL LESSEN, and you will not continue to obsess.
I could see no end in sight, but I'm past the finish line of feelings now and can look back with a little more clarity. I know now these things may crop up again, and when they do I know not to panic. They'll pass, and it's worth it. E and I are exploring and discovering things about each other again and I love it.
It really is about mourning the old normal as the new normal settles in. It's gonna be great!
Thanks so much to GalaGirl for her wise words. She was on the money. Thanks also to Soramama for her kindness, insight and for recognizing it IS DIFFERENT and in some ways far more difficult for some men.
Last edited by duke; 03-12-2013 at 06:20 AM.