Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
I think this was an excellent view.
At least on here - I see a lot of good people getting frequently all tangled up in terminology & labels. That often complicates things that should be simpler.
The point is, you've been exposed to a non-traditional way of thinking & living and seen some of it's potential for success. You're simply in a better place for that knowledge. It may or may not open wonderful options for you in life that you would have otherwise missed. Wonderful !
But in the same manner - there's no requirement or expectation for YOU (or there shouldn't be) as Porcupine alluded to. Just be who you are and what feels right to you !
It might also be appropriate here to mention another concept that comes up in discussions occasionally. I think of it as a concept of "fullness". There comes a time for all of us that we are just content with what we have in our life - and maybe some instinct that anything 'more' would start to cast a shadow. That point is different for everyone - and it seems to vary at different points in our lives -which obviously is one reason that conventional relationships CAN be successful. I say possible but much more rare. Many of us find we want that 'extra' in our lives - i.e. that we don't 'fill' quite as easily. And so - here we are
You'll find that point for yourself but at least now you are fully aware that should you feel you wish 'more', that is a totally valid & workable option.
The more I've thought about this the past couple of days, the more I'm realizing how wrapped up I tend to get in all the labels. I think somewhere in my mind I felt like I had to be or become poly since my boyfriend is. And to some I would be considered his "secondary"; identifying myself that way came with an open invitation for all my insecurities to rise to the surface, sometimes with an amazing amount of force.
I think, going forward, one task I need to set for myself is to not focus on labeling my relationship.