My main concern is the early talk about custody battles, basically already planning that you won't be able to work it out and come to a peaceful agreement. Well, going in with that attitude, you sure won't.
Divorce is really hard on kids, even when the parents are amicable and supportive and peaceful. When kids are being fought over, with each parent pretending to "do what's best for the kids," it becomes traumatic. Your kids are in their formative years and custody battles can take years.
Good school or not, I promise that Mom and Dad fighting over them in court is NOT what's best for the kids. Ever. Neither one of you is a bad parent, abusive, or neglectful - so there's no good reason you can't share custody and behave like civilized grown-ups.
If a poly relationships isn't for you, it isn't for you. That's fine. But you have the potential to do a great deal of harm to your children by taking such a hard line. As a parent, you have a responsibility to go through this process in a civil, mature, grown-up manner.
I'm not too worried about your wife and her girlfriend; they chose this life, they're grown-ups, and they'll get over it. But having the family violently ripped apart will scar your children for life. It will make it difficult for them to ever have a trusting, loving relationship. Do you want them to be in your situation 40 years from now, just because you can't take the time now to slow down and move carefully?
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 03-12-2013 at 05:21 AM.