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Old 03-11-2013, 10:09 PM
RainyGrlJenny's Avatar
RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 258

Thanks Indie

It went better than I could have possibly believed!!! Although, I really have a bad sense of timing.

I went over to Moonlight's house for dinner Friday night, and after we retired to the bedroom, she made some joke about keeping me to herself, and I busted out with, "You know I'm not monogamous, right? I've never cheated on our agreement, but you know that's not who I really am?" I probably shouldn't have brought it up right as we were getting down and dirty, but there it is.

She was quiet for a moment, and then she just lay beside me and told me to keep talking. It all poured out - how claustrophobic and pressured I'd been feeling, how afraid I was that it would be a deal breaker for her, but that I needed to be honest and authentic with her, that I loved her too much to keep a piece of me hidden away from her. She listened silently, and when I ran out of words, she asked me if I still want to be with her, if my feelings for her had changed at all. I immediately tried to reassure her that of course not, that it wasn't really about my feelings for her, it's about my feelings about myself.

We cuddled there on the bed for awhile, neither of us saying anything, just holding and breathing together. The next words out of her mouth flabbergasted me. She said, "I admire you. You're so brave. You know what you want, and you're not afraid to say it out loud. I wish I was able to do that."

We talked a bit about the flaws we both have with communication, and how much we love each other, how blessed we both feel. Her final comment was, "It might be hard, especially the first time you sleep with someone else, but I love you and I want you in my life more than I need you to be semi-monogamous. I don't want you to be boxed in by me, I love you and that includes all of you, not just the easy bits."

Then we had really amazing sex.

I feel like the walls have opened up and the world is at my feet! Even though it's grey and rainy today, it seems like sunbeams are streaming through the windows. If my life were a musical, I'd explode into a song and dance. Heck, I might anyway!

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy, ultimately amicable breakup), and his 11-year-old son Kiddo
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