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Old 03-11-2013, 08:21 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,257
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How is this situation appreciably different than the many people who arrive at their poly identity and come her for help. Hundreds of intro threads tell the exact same story ..had this history ...found this great guy or gal settled down ...was ok for years ...now 10-12 yrs later ...POOF I know... the " awakening "

Its perfectly fine to wake up one day and want an open marriage or want a poly marriage or non monogamy ... it's excepted .... it's encouraged ....it's fucking celebrated .. ...but not the opposite. Holy shit HE's unreasonable.... he's dishonest .....he's hurtful....vindictive..... for putting a full stop to that which he no longer wants. Now you have to consider the spouse and the kids.

The general advice is to be patient and provide educational materials, and emotional support to the partner caught flat footed. It's their identity thats who they are except and deal. In this case it's the opposite....compromise ...His identity for her time management and being a "co" partner. He doesn't want to be a co partner . Fuck that ....that doesnt matter it's his culturally caused repressed emotions causing a knee jerk reaction.

Recently on 3 active threads the struggling spouse or mono partner was advised to end the relationship....if ya cant get a handle on your emotions ....if your miserable all the time end it, Chalk it up to relationship life cycle, hard limits, knowing when to say when.....incompatility. But not in a case of reverse awakening.



It just seems you cant have it both ways ....it seems unfair.

I assume to all here thinking these thought that their transition from mono to poly was met with complete love and understanding.

Last edited by dingedheart; 03-11-2013 at 10:17 PM.
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