Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Maybe just take each relationship as its own thing, assess the role you see it playing in your life now and the role you want it to play in the future, and go from there. It might not make much of a difference, but I believe that the words you use matter a lot.
You're right about the term "primary" being of little use in this situation. I'm coming to terms with my own need to end my relationship with Red if he chooses to marginalize me, and I guess thinking of myself as my "primary." I'm not willing to be the only partner of Red's who will compromise.
You gave me some very solid advice and I appreciate that. I rewrote your letter almost word for word to Jordan. She hasn't responded yet, but the letter you wrote was less emotionally driven than the drafts I have made until now. That's exactly what I needed and thank you so much for taking the time to think about it objectively, when I couldn't.