Originally Posted by westVan
At what point do the needs of the secondaries start mattering in the relationship – if ever?
I feel like the needs of every person involved matter equally. When I'm the secondary and my feelings are marginalized, or decisions are made about me without me, it hurts. I feel like a sleazy mistress. No amount of apologies makes up for that.
You're not just in a relationship with your partner, you're in a relationship with their partner as well. Relationships are a two-way street. Standing up for your feelings to a primary isn't easy. You have every right to do it though.