So funny. I had to read everything above me before I got it. I was going to go with this doesn't happen to me much. I get other things, like asking my mom for a ride to the doctor because I have a fever and don't feel safe to drive. She says, 'oh, I can't, I have lunch date with my friends.'
But Tonberry reminded me. I was very frustrated with CBF because he NEVER asked anything of me. Nothing. This is very much not saying what he meant. 'Every thing is fine.' when it's not. Thing is, I'm not sure he was building resentment, but perhaps. I doubt I'll ever know. He has taken the opportunity once or twice, now that our no-contact is over, to tell me about things he resented. Like I have too many books.
This happens a lot to me because of my physical challenges, too. He knew me for two years before we started dating. Before we actually started dating, he had hugged me one time (he liked to pick people up when he hugged them), and my rib dislocated with a huge thunk right into his chest. It was awesome, his eyes got big as teacups. He was so afraid he'd broken me. I tried to assure him it happened a lot (and I ran off to the chiropractor). So he KNEW. He assured me he had no problem with my condition. And then proceeded to endlessly bitch about it. During the previous breakup (when I had asked him to move out, but before he did), he got drunk one night and allowed as how he would be embarrassed for me to attend a con with him if I had been in a wheelchair.
[in happy contrast, FBF says 'let's go to Disneyland and pop you into a wheelchair.']
I write a lot of that off though, not just for him, but for lots of people. He wants to see himself as a guy who's not bothered by it. But when confronted with reality, he had to confront that he is, in fact, bothered by it. Most people have no idea how to cope with the chronically ill. I have so many friends that are totally bugged by this. For some fortunate reason, I am just not as bugged by it. Less bugged the general population than by lovers, I guess. I believe that most people mean well.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)