Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I'm not sure that I have any good advice yet, but I'm just curious about something -- what does "primary" mean to you guys? What does it mean that you're primary with Doug when you guys don't live together and don't agree on the parameters of your relationship (open vs. closed)? What does it mean for Red and Jordan to be primary if they also don't live together, don't have sex, and also don't agree on the parameters of their relationship? It seems to be different from how I'd use the word.
I know, girl! I know! Doug has been my primary for years because he was my primary source of emotional support, and he is the one that I have been building a future with. We bring out the best in each other and we interact with each others families extensively. We haven't always lived so far apart and we have many common interests, we see each other at least every month and when we have vacations from school one of us moves closer to the other for that period of time.
For Red and Jordan, they are best friends and husband and wife. They have been going back and forth about breaking up for awhile. I think that the circumstances have caused a lot of confusion about who our primaries are and that's part of what I'm struggling with, and I believe that's what Jordan and Doug are also struggling with.