I'm not sure that I have any good advice yet, but I'm just curious about something -- what does "primary" mean to you guys? What does it mean that you're primary with Doug when you guys don't live together and don't agree on the parameters of your relationship (open vs. closed)? What does it mean for Red and Jordan to be primary if they also don't live together, don't have sex, and also don't agree on the parameters of their relationship? It seems to be different from how I'd use the word.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.