Originally Posted by JessieNY
For me I have insecurities about opening up my marriage because I feel that our marriage has a lot of issues in it that need to be worked on first. And I am insecure about him possible trading me up? If that sounds logical? I want to be able to be open minded and poly because I know that it would be a wonderful way to live always being surrounded by love! But I need to get over my personal issues with it. Plus I have been married for 10 years and now all of the sudden he decides he wants another woman. it is hard not to think negatively after all those years.
Not to hijack the thread but it seems your post is worthy of addressing.
So that I don't repeat some material I already posted in this thread 2-3 posts ago, I'd refer you to that first.
That fact that you allude to issues already in the marriage could mean opening this ground could be either good or bad. If nothing else, starting to learn about it will make you both better communicators with each other and in more than a few relationships that in itself is at the root of many problems.
As to your mention of insecurities - please keep in mind that we ALL have them. There's always people who we may judge to be more or less than we are in some way. It's self defeating. All we can ever do is be the best "us" we're capable of being, and keep trying to keep working on that. But that's not to imply that we should change who we are to meet someone else's desires UNLESS it's in sync with our own desires.
So the exploration into poly is not rigidly tied to the outcome of your current marriage. Or your self perception. I think it could help both in the long run but that will be for you to decide.
Best wishes !