Originally Posted by nycindie
You are his second dad, that's all. You are already a dad. That's why you miss him. And he surely misses you.
I think it is quite unfortunate that your wife and her lover have this notion of not wanting a "half" sibling. To a child, a new brother or sister will just be a brother or sister. They would only look at them as "half" anything if the parents tell them to. And it is a pretty shitty thing to do to a family, making a full sibling more important than a half. They need to get over themselves.
You and he are both fathers, one by biology and the other by love and commitment. If I were you, I would go back to your wife and both of you try to get her pregnant, and everyone love all the children equally and stand by each other in unity as co-parents of all the children together, no matter whose sperm fertilized the egg. The more important thing is love.
You should PM LovingRadiance
or read her posts about her family dynamics. She has a husband and a boyfriend and children from each. They all parent together and it works.
I really appreciate that sentiment nycindie, its what my wife says. I'm just as much of a father to Harry as Alex is, and I'll be the same to their next child.
To be frank though, its just not true, and she knows it. I am not his Dad, Alex is! Alex is Daddy, and I'm Ethan! I'm not his Uncle or step-father or anything else. To Harry, I am Ethan! I do not have a problem with that. It is true that I do as much for him as they do, I bath him, dress him, take him to school, take him out places, and I do really enjoy being with him, and I love Harry to bits, and vice versa, but I am not his Dad. Alex is his Dad.
While she was pregnant, I really wanted to be the Father. I got proper into it, while Alex was not that bothered either way, but then, he had not been through a late miscarriage with her like I had. Its dumb, but when we found out that he was the father, it felt like I had lost another child, the sense of upset was similar. Dumb, but thats the way I felt!
She knew this, and thats why she promised me what she did, and now she has gone back on that promise. It hurts. She loves me, but does not want my child, when she knows what it means to me. She cannot doubt that I would be a really good Dad, she could see how I was with Harry, and I dont believe her bullshit about half brothers/sisters either.
The truth is that she just wants to have another child with Alex, and not with me.
I think that she is very selfish to be on the phone to me again today, crying and sceaming, and trying to make me feel guilty about leaving her, and asking me to go back.
Its not gonna happen.