Originally Posted by YouAreHere
Okay... So it's not just the "Si is around all the time" and "I can't do the poly" thing, then, that brought you to your breaking point? It's the "my wife and I have discussed and agreed upon what was best for our children and now Si has put that on hold" thing as well?
Honestly, I can better understand your "butt out" mentality on your second point rather than your first. Seems to me, then, that the move had been discussed with everyone, that you and FoL made decisions with respect to your kids, and Si balked against that decision, tossing your actual plans up in the air. Do you feel like you have been undermined as a parent (or as a partner in this marriage in general?) by someone you don't feel is a co-parent or co-partner?
Yes, please do continue the remote counseling and continue to try to get at the root of your anger - if one of the roots is feeling undermined - that any decisions you made can be undercut by a word and not supported - then maybe you should work on that to start?
It just added fuel to a fire that was already going strong. That tidbit emerged during and in totality after the argument had occurred. It was what lead to me needing time away before I did get upset and run the risk of things becoming even more intense.
I couldn't be upset about that before because it wasn't known. I know now, and it's an issue that must be addressed and will be addressed. I made the fateful decision to back away from other issues, but I will not tolerate being undermined.
We will decide what's best and not just one person pulling the strings like a puppet master.