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Old 03-10-2013, 07:07 PM
hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 451

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
I just wanted to mention that you did a kind thing in trying to engage with the OP on that thread. He was not in a place to see that but I do.
Thanks. I hope that it may eventually mean something to the OP.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
And yeah, as for the other thread... I realized that I was probably identifying with it more than was necessary/reasonable, and once I stepped back a little mentally it was better. There are relatively few models for the lives we're living, so I think it becomes easier than it ought to be to project when we see a situation that reminds us of our own.

Of everyone, you were probably the best positioned to possibly help, but, yeah, help wasn't actually possible.
I think this is right. You identified with the situation, as you've said, as someone who is a "secondary" in a relationship.

I identified with it as someone in a "primary" relationship that has been, um, complicated lately. No, scratch that. It's a relationship that I managed to complicate much more than it needed to be complicated, by not attending to it mindfully enough.

I've at least seen the beginning of the path that might lead to where the OP in that thread is now, and I'm slightly terrified by it.

I need very much to not be emotionally invested in the outcome of his story.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
If the thread had started where it is now, we'd still try to help but it wouldn't be difficult to witness in the same way. It's just watching that moment of dramatic disintegration, that tipping point, and feeling like maybe you could do something in some small way to arrest it, except you can't, that's really hard.
It's a little too much like reading Sophocles, if you know what I mean. He reminds me more than a little of Creon, and the situation reminds me of just how wrenching irony can be.

(Sometimes I'd like to step into the play, take Creon by the sleeve, and give him a good talkin' to, you know?)

I'm on the fence about whether to take another pass at intervention in that thread. The OP left a little opening, asking me a direct question, but I have my own mind to sort out, given the contrariwise dramatic turn my story took last week.
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