Originally Posted by bella123456
Matt, it's completely ok to leave a relationship if it's not bringing you happiness.
If there is an aspect of your partner's personality that you simply can not accept, you are making the right decision.
Also, on her side... It's not nice or healthy to be in a relationship with someone who can not accept that very special part.
There's no point saying "I love every part of you except that big bit which is so very integral to who you are"
Icky for all. You both deserve unconditional love. If you can't give each other unconditional love and the cost of continuing to try is so painful.... You can stop.
That's a perfectly valid decision to make. Don't beat yourself up about it, if that's the decision you are making.. Be kind to yourself and accept that's the path you are choosing.
It's ok !
Having been through a break up that involves children, if you continue down the path you are choosing I hope you can pick up harm minimization sooner, rather than later.
If you can manage it... A few days of peace and self love would put you in a good position to manage the difficult times ahead.
Concentrate on basics if you can - sleep and a good diet.
Constant stress, lack of sleep etc... That stuff always reduces our capacity to make good decisions.
Get yourself first into a position where you are most able to make good decisions.
Wishing you all the best.
I'm not beating myself up about it. I don't need a few days, a few months, breathing space, or anything. Time isn't going to change this one. Does that mean I should just say forget this counseling thing? No, but if it's worth having, it must be worth fighting for right? Well, that's what they say. I'm not sure I'm in it to fight. I might renege before a fight even begins.
No part of it's going to be easy. I think the Mrs. is pissed off and like I'm taking the choice away from her. Nope because if asked to choose, I guarantee she would be pissed and resentful. Why should she have to choose? If I want to take the guess work out and leave her with just one option, that's my choice. She can't have her cake and eat it, too with this one. Live your life and do you. I just won't be part of it if that's what I decide is for the best. Like I told her, "I'm contemplating cutting myself out of your idea of a family and doing what I need to do before I start hating you."
No part of the custody situation will be easy. Especially seeing as how we have to different visions regarding the future of our children. I can't control that she's suddenly changed her mind about plans that have been in motion. It's not about her anymore, though.
I love her, but I have to love me more now. I'm taking care of myself. I'm away from her right now, and I am taking an extended private holiday. I need to be by myself and alone with my thoughts.