I hear everything you're saying. I swear I do.
I don't view myself as being a martyr or in control of anything but my decisions and what I do. If I know I can't stay in an unhappy situation, what am I supposed to do? Stay and wait until I start hating my wife?
I have to be proactive and have a plan and a course of action. We're working together right now, but what happens if we can't come to an agreement? She doesn't have to bow down to my requests, but I have to have an out if I decide I can't do this anymore. My kids happiness does matter, but guess what? This isn't going to be healthy for them. Kids of divorce can grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults and have healthy, loving and lasting relationships.
My question to you: what values do I need to shift my attention to? Maintaining my wife's happiness? Hell, I've been doing that, and look at what it's gotten me. Maintaining the happiness of the kids? Staying in an unhappy situation for the kids is the definition of bad. Kids sense those things. Where does my happiness fit into that? We're back at square one, where my needs are last and I'm miserable. Great, but the "family" is still together. Who would that benefit? On a serious note, it's better to be alone and treat yourself well than to settle and put up with BS because of love.
What did you do in your situation, or what is currently being done?
Problematic? That's her girlfriend and her lifestyle. Those ARE the problems.
Last edited by Matt; 03-09-2013 at 07:20 PM.