Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
To me it sounds like your feeling "awkward" in certain circumstances ties in with how you are feeling about the Vix/Soc travel at the time.
In my world we are not "out" but that doesn't mean that Dude is a secret or we act like he doesn't exist. So, the situations that could be "awkward" if we acted guilty or like there was something wrong are NOT awkward because WE aren't embarrassed by them.
I've slowly been coming around to the realization that much hinges on how I handle and project my own feelings about Vix and Doc; mainly, though, I need to work on my focus and courage when I'm in such situations.
But that's a much bigger issue, for me. You see, another puzzle for me to work out arises from the fact that I have, since childhood, been much too sensitive to others' perceptions and judgments - or my assumptions regarding their perceptions and judgments - of me and my actions.
I could say it's a function of growing up Lutheran - surrounded always by that unseen cloud of witness, watching and judging me - but that would be neither fully accurate nor really fair. Any number of other factors may be involved in it: third child syndrome, some neurological quirk, some excess of empathy, etc.
The sporting question, though, is whether and how I'll learn to get over that limitation in myself, to stand up and say, for example, "Vix and Doc are traveling together now," and be secure in my own judgment that the arrangement is good and fair.
In short, I agree with you on the essential point: if I find nothing shameful in Vix's relationship with Doc - and that's the case, nearly all the time, and more so now than before - then I should not act as though there is anything shameful in it.
If people draw contrary conclusions, let it not be due to my actions or attitudes when talking about their travels together.