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Old 03-09-2013, 11:12 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ferenc View Post
What’s really bugging me right now is that somehow I feel less of a man because my wife feels the need for another, which is crazy as I know I can’t be everything for anyone.

And here’s the really unfair bit – it would be super-cool for me to have another woman, but I’m embarrassed to admit my wife has a lover. WTF?

Is it ego, insecurity, cultural conditioning? What is going on here?
A little of all three, actually.

Cultural programming has a lot to do with it; your image of yourself is tied up in a picture given to you by the culture around you. Because your current situation clashes with that picture, it creates feelings of insecurity.

There's no real "cure" for it, you just have to fight the programming as best you can. Cultural programming is often bizarrely illogical so countering it with concrete facts is often helpful.
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