View Single Post
Old 03-09-2013, 11:12 AM
Helo's Avatar
Helo Helo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 278

Originally Posted by ferenc View Post
What’s really bugging me right now is that somehow I feel less of a man because my wife feels the need for another, which is crazy as I know I can’t be everything for anyone.

And here’s the really unfair bit – it would be super-cool for me to have another woman, but I’m embarrassed to admit my wife has a lover. WTF?

Is it ego, insecurity, cultural conditioning? What is going on here?
A little of all three, actually.

Cultural programming has a lot to do with it; your image of yourself is tied up in a picture given to you by the culture around you. Because your current situation clashes with that picture, it creates feelings of insecurity.

There's no real "cure" for it, you just have to fight the programming as best you can. Cultural programming is often bizarrely illogical so countering it with concrete facts is often helpful.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
Reply With Quote