The whole kids before your marriage argument is one that most don't understand. Guiliana Ranic of E! News was just under fire for making these very marks. Once she broke it down and explained that a strong and happy marriage is important to keep the family together and for their child to see because kids see our relationships before any other ones, people were then able to understand and retreated. Our oldest is impressionable, and she soaks up everything. Right now, keeping the harmony in my house is more important for my kids and my own peace of mind than anything. If it means, Si can't be here because of animosity with Matt. That's just what it's going to be, and I put my foot down on that. They didn't ask to be part of this, and they won't be exposed to it.
Am I going to ignore my 8 month old's desire to play or his needs so I can tend to my husband? No, but am I going to take time away, talk to him, and have grown-up interaction, go on dates, keep the romance alive, maintain a social life with people our ages, establish intimacy, and talk about something other than the kids during that time away. Not just about the kids, what they did today, the first words, or the funny little stories on the way to the store, etc. We love our kids. I've loved both of them since I learned of being pregnant. I felt their first kicks, heard the heartbeats, felt them growing, survived open fetal surgery with the youngest, and brought them into the world. I loved them before they were here, and they were my most favorite people before we had ever even touched. Nonetheless, I'm in love with my husband, as it should be. It's a different type of love. People want to take what I said and what others believe and spin it into something way out in the boondocks.