DH and I have been married 10 years. Talking poly for about half that. And just this year have ventured into our first poly relationships. It has and continues to be a journey, and I'm glad for this site because right now I'm in a quandary.
DH has seen a couple of different women. One was too young and immature for his liking, but the other is a much more compatible match and their relationship has been coming along nicely. I also like her and find her fun to hang out with, but really it's his GF, not ours.
But the real issue is the man I was seeing. I say "was", because after a few dates and lots of talking and feeling compatible, we became sexual. A couple of days went by, and DH texted him a little to be friendly but was blown off after a brief exchange. Now, 5 days past our last date and 3 un-replied texts, I'm pretty sure I just got used. And it pisses me off. One, that I got fooled so easily- and two that pretty much any other man I've talked to is simply more open about just wanting a physical relationship, which is not my M.O. so they tend to get shut down immediately.
This has kinda turned me off to poly relationships right now. I'm bi, but have not yet been with a woman, so maybe I'll try that. And there is that element of enviousness over DH having such a great relationship that I'm only going to be peripheral to. I guess I'm trying to get a handle on my feelings, and looking for some advice or just someone to talk to.
In case it isn't obvious, DH was up till recently the only real relationship I'd ever had, and he's one in a million and just plain incredible, so I went into things fairly naive. Now I'm at the point where even if the other guy does finally get back to me, I don't know if I'm interested in continuing things for fear of being used like that. Once bitten, twice shy.
Thoughts? Advice? Commiseration? I'll take any of it.