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Old 01-07-2010, 03:59 AM
constlady constlady is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 63
Default Sex positive/sex negative

I've been contemplating a bit on this idea due to some of the recent discussions on this board.

Anyone who has ever been a part of my life has always considered me to be a very sex positive person.

That's how I see myself, to be honest.

I'm a big fan of sex in any form that makes me feel good (note that this is about me!) and adore experimentation, very frequent sex, open discussions about sexuality and pushing my boundaries.
I believe that the society I live in has an extremely dichotomous and warped view about sexuality.

One which never fit with who I am as a person.

I remember being quite young when a discussion about "saving one's self" for marriage was taking place and the concept made no sense to me at all.
How could anyone possibly know even the tip of the iceberg of sexuality if its sole expression had been with a single other person?
Sex is fun dammit and a life without frequent, varied and amazing sex is not one that I would be interested in living.

But somehow, because I choose to identify my relationship style as a thing that isn't necessarily the same as my sexuality, it is believed that I must be "sex negative."

Because I happen to believe that who I fuck isn't as important as who I love (though for me, as I suspect it is for many others, they often go hand in hand), because I don't want my lovestyle to be perceived as being solely based on the number of sexual partners I may have at any one time - since that is not how I define my relationship style - because I feel the need to differentiate the form of polyamory that I practice from the ones who prefer the combination of emotional monogamy and physical non-monogamy, I am oppressing an entire group of people who don't choose to live their lives in the same way as I choose to live mine.

Nothing could be further from the truth.
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