If I viewed her as disposable, I would kick her to curb. I haven't implied any such thing.
Was it possible she was too involved in our marriage? Yes. The relationships needed to be separate. There's such a thing is too much togetherness. That's what it was. He sees her at work, and then he saw her at home every day. 24 hours around somebody or day in and day out? That's even too much for me. I need breaks from seeing some people. I take time away from Matt, and we live in the same house. I'll go read a book, do yoga, or go for a jog. Time for me and my thoughts to be alone.
Our marriage does come first, and it's never been a secret to anybody, so no double crossing was going on. As said a few pages back, I'm one of those people that believes a marriage has to come before your children, so before another person that I didn't give birth to? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Children are on loan to you. When they leave home, what do you have to talk about? The way it used to be? I can't ignore my marriages needs because we have children. I've been around people whose lives revolve around their children, and guess what? They have nothing outside of that. There will come a point when our kids don't need us and become independent young adults. If our marriage is weak and has cracks, how are we supposed to be a good example for them? It's not about the almighty M/F marriage. Sorry but my marriage is not just some random commitment. If that was the case, I would've never said I or do. That's not to say I don't value my commitment to Si. I do, but my marriage has clearly suffered.
I'm not the perfect Christian. Nor do I want to be.
There have been boundaries for years, and they became shot and faded to black when this epic fail of triad started. Yes, they were re-negotiated and worked to accommodate the new dynamic, and it didn't work out. Lack of communication? Got it. I couldn't force their relationship to work. Hell, it wasn't mine or my place. I have no control over what two grown ass people do. It has to be said. Can't change what the has happened right now and what's going on. Can't change the fact that he doesn't want her around. Can't change the fact that their friendship is dead. I can't change any of it. All I can do is maintain sanity, try to be neutral, and if it comes down to it, figure out what the hell I am going to do about MY future and if I can continue to deal with this bullshit going on around me. Am I mad and frustrated? Yeah. All of it is enough to piss anybody enough. No sense in talking about what we could have done back then. It ain't going to change a thing right now.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Mr. Handprints & Good Grips - Mono DH of 12 years and father of our (3) children.
Last edited by FullofLove1052; 03-08-2013 at 10:43 PM.