Welcome to our forum.
Sounds like your wife is having some challenges with the poly situation. It's new to her, whereas it sounds like you have some background with it.
Our Poly Relationships Corner
might be a good place for you to post more about your situation; it's likely that quite a few people will post in response. Lots to read, post, and do on this site. Hopefully it will help your wife to adjust.
Glad to have you amongst us,