This thread has been busy.
Look...I take responsibility for not saying anything and keeping everything inside. I'm human. I have flaws. Every day is a lesson. I'm not apologizing for anything I said to her. I said it. I meant it. It came from the heart. It's not my fault that it was taken wrong or if she got offended. That's her problem. Not my problem. She doesn't want to attend therapy with us? Cool. I'm not losing any sleep.
I have no desire to be around my wife's girlfriend. I'm not even calling her my metamour. Why should I? She's a person, but I am opting not to acknowledge her beyond a professional scope. Out of sight. Out of my mind. I have to work with her, and I am paid to do a job, so the job will get done. I don't have to see her after hours or say anything to her. That's what it is.
Would I prefer if she wasn't at our house or around our children? Yeah, you can say that. On a serious note, shit got real the other day, but I bet my voice was heard.
We'll see how it plays out. Our lives don't have to cross any more than necessary which is on the clock. She may be dating my wife, but I don't have to deal with her or see her more than necessary. I'll keep you guys posted and check in.