Originally Posted by BoringGuy
I know, sigh.
But 12/13 years... I just had a 10/13 year anniversary with my Spouse (10 married, 13 together) and this type of story of yours is exactly what I wonder about: will i wake up one day and find out my partner is not the person I thought they were?
BG, would it help to say that in every case where I've personally seen it happen (anecdotal, I know), that it was due to a lack of communication that went on far too long for it to be fixable?
It was that way in my own marriage (17 years married, 22 years together). He wanted me to be something I wasn't, and I buried myself for far too long. We rarely talked, and in fact, while I was trying to pick up the pieces of our marriage and told him that I wanted us to talk - to be friends again, he said, "We never needed to talk before; why do we need to start now?"
Same thing in this case - a (bad) lack of communication caused this blowup, and now they're picking up the pieces.
If you communicate honestly, if you talk to death, if you don't bury your feelings, well... it's no guarantee it won't happen, but hell - you're in a better spot than I was. You've got that going for you. That and an acerbic wit.