Originally Posted by JessieNY
"My wife is not willing (or able?) to open up our marriage, "
I am sort of in your wife's shoes. My husband wants to open the relationship to add another woman. It is hard for me due to my insecurities - I am trying to work through them to be a more loving caring person who is able to share not only her husband but myself.
Let me know how things go...it is a tough situation. I have mixed feelings and it would be nice to chat with you as you seem to be like my husband and I like your wife...maybe we can talk together and neutral parties to a similar situation.
I'm really curious about what the problem is, why it's difficult for you, because I'm trying to understand the other point of view. (I got involved with a man in an open marriage, and his wife couldn't deal with it, she'd never even considered poly, and I would really like to have some insight into what she could be afraid of, or what she hopes to accomplish by being functionally monogamous, other than having him be all horny and grumpy, me being all wangstful, and neither of us being as motivated to do housework as we were when she was okay with things.)
So, I keep trying to imagine situations that would bother me if the situation was reversed, and I keep failing to see how allowing us to have whatever kind of relationship would work would have a negative impart on her life.