Originally Posted by BoringGuy
I know what you're saying but... do you give him the power to throw your friend out of your home when she hasn't really done anything TO him? This isn't someone you picked up off of Craig's List three months ago.
I have to tell you, what gets me about this thread really is the title. It combines a statement about something that applies to him and links it with a statement that declares ownership of you. You might want to point this out to your new therapist,, because it speaks volumes about how your husband views the fundamental basis of your relationship. You seem like a strong woman who does not take kindly to having others think for her. Unless there is some sort of D/s dynamic to your marriage, he has no business referring to you as a thing or a piece of property. YOU are the only one who can "share" you, and you should be the one who decided who you share with. Not after 12 years and pretty much the same length of relationship one of them gets to up and decide things have sucked all this time and the other relationship needs to stop.
I was going to say the same things.
I'm glad, FullofLove, that you have sympathy for your husband's viewpoint and feelings here--because I sure don't.
I don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who would let his resentment build IN TOTAL SILENCE for YEARS until it's suddenly too late. I'm pretty biased in my feelings because my ex-boyfriend/best friend did that exact thing to me. He finally decided to be honest about how unhappy he'd been--and for me it came totally out of left field, made absolutely no sense, left me feeling like four years of my life had been a lie, and came too late for anything to be worked out because he resented me so deeply he had no interest in friendship or communication with me.
Two and a half years later, I have managed to be rebuild my life and my self-esteem and my happiness...but I am still rebuilding my sense of trust and love and hope.