Opening Up - Who Can You Tell? Friends, Family and Coworkers?
A little background:
My wife and I opened our marriage up about a year and a half ago. We started by getting involved in the swinging community and by giving each other "hall passes". We have since shifted away from trying to meet couples to play with together and more towards polyamory and having seperate and more involved relationships.
We've been very secretive about all this. The only people that know about our non-manogamy are other swingers and people we've met through online dating sites. My wife has since opened it up to one female friend, but that has been about it. None of our other friends or family know about this. My coworkers (here in the bible belt) are generally a pretty conservative bunch and a few of them have very loose lips, so I've been very reluctant to even hint at this to anybody from whom word can spread.
My problem is that there is a new girl at the office that I've become good friends with. We had a lovely lunch together today. Regardless of whether or not anything will happen between us, I would love to share this with her, just to have someone to talk to.
So my questions are:
Who have you told about your arrangement? Potential partners only, partners and close friends and family or everybody?
Have you ever experienced negative consequences from telling the wrong person?